


Hold my heart(keep it safe)

by Falazure



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 318 references bc I'm mean, Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Angst, Comfort, Comfort No Hurt, Light Angst, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane Feels, Post-Canon, who knew that was a tag? lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:06:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23901292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Falazure/pseuds/Falazure
Summary: It's the little things sometimes that can hit the hardest.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 14
Kudos: 134





	Hold my heart(keep it safe)

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine, just playing.
> 
> I've been fiddling with this on and off since the show finished and I'm still not entirely happy with it, but I also feel like this is the best version I'm going to get of it so whatever, have some Magnus feelings because I just love scratching inside this man's head.

* * *

“I need a break.”

Magnus’ heart froze in his chest, and for one split, horrible second he thought of the worst, thought of Alec leaving him in his mothers’ shop and how devastated and hollow he’d felt afterwards.

He snapped out of it within moments however, turning his head to see Alec rubbing his eyes as he sat behind his desk. Magnus had been doing a few simple text translations, it had been his monthly check of the wards and he’d decided to bring something to keep himself busy while he waited for Alec to finish for the evening.

Alec dropped his hands, looking up at him only to smile as their eyes met and Magnus did his best to push his anxious feelings down. He knew Alec hadn’t meant it in the same way, couldn’t _possibly_ have meant it in the same way, but his stupid heart had always been the worst at holding onto ridiculous fears and uncertainties and he plastered his own smile on his face.

He clearly hadn't done a good job of looking relaxed however as Alec frowned, stood up from his chair and walked over to him. “You okay?” He asked, sitting down beside him and Magnus gave him a dismissive wave.

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” Alec gave him a look, clearly not buying it and Magnus sighed. “I just had a silly thought that’s all, but I _am_ fine, I promise.” And he wasn’t lying, not really, the nervous pit in his gut was already nearly gone and from the gentle way Alec regarded him it only got smaller.

“What was the thought?” Alec prodded, shuffling himself closer to lightly drape an arm along the back of the couch, his fingers lightly grazing the back of his neck.

“I just...” Magnus licked his lips. “What you said a moment ago reminded me of your mothers’ shop and I...” Magnus made a face and shrugged, not really sure how to verbalise his thoughts and feeling a little silly for doing so. It really wasn’t a big deal. Alec frowned again, clearly thinking back to what he’d just said and before Magnus could remind him his eyes snapped to his, mouth dropping open slightly and he let out an unhappy noise as he moved closer.

“I didn’t mean that way.” Alec rasped, grasping one of Magnus’ hands in his own and Magnus nodded, he did know. “Fuck, I didn’t even mean it at the time I-”

“I know, I know.” Magnus interrupted, raising his fingers to brush against Alec’s lips, effectively silencing him for a moment. “It’s okay.” Alec only shook his head.

“It’s not and it wasn’t.” Alec’s hand left his to grab the one hovering in front of his face. “Not if there’s still _any_ part of you that thinks I’d ever truly want to leave you.” Magnus sighed and shook his head.

“I don’t, not really.” And it wasn't a lie, outside of his father's horrible manipulations Alec had only proven time and again how much he wanted to be in his life, how much Alec wanted every part of him, even the parts Magnus didn't want himself. But it wasn't as if fears and uncertainties were routed in logic, and Magnus had promised himself and Alec to be honest with his feelings. Even if he felt foolish. “I just… I suppose I have a bit of a bad association with that phrase currently.” Magnus admitted with a slight grimace, the loud thudding of his heart slowing as Alec's hand squeezed around his own.

“Then I better make sure you only have _good_ ones.” And Alec sounded so sure of himself, so determined that Magnus sucked in a breath, his husband’s words from Edom echoing in his head, Alec’s absolute resolve to stay with him wherever that may be, regardless of everything else and the last of his residual worry faded away, replaced with a warm contentment that was swiftly filling his chest.

“It might take a little while for it to stick.” Magnus half-joked, tapping the fingers of his free hand against his thigh as a small self-deprecating laugh left him.

“I'll make sure it does.” Alec affirmed, tangling their fingers together and Magnus' eyes dropped to their joined hands, where Alec’s thumb was rubbing over his ring-finger, the magic within the band echoing in Alec's matching one, reminding him that Alec really was here to stay. “But for now how about _we_ take a break for a while?” Magnus snorted.

“What? Just run off without telling anyone and shirk our responsibilities?” He looked back up at Alec, only to see the lazy smirk spread across his husband’s lips.

“We can send Izzy a fire message so she’ll know to take over for a bit, but sure.” Alec half-shrugged, like he wasn’t suggesting they disappear immediately on an unplanned trip. "I need a break.” He pointed to his chest. “You need a break.” He pressed the same hand to Magnus’ breastbone. “So pick somewhere and lets just, go.”

Magnus’ mouth flapped open for a few moments, unsure how to respond, but he quickly felt his own mouth pull into a smile, the temptation of a sudden vacation was… alluring. They hadn’t had much in the way of time-off since their honeymoon, not unless he counted the occasional three-day weekends they’d taken over the last several months, representatives from Alicante had been sniffing around the New York Institute recently and the both of them were pretty sure Alec was going to be offered another promotion again. So free-time had been a little sparing of late, and Magnus could admit that he wanted some alone-time with his husband, free from stuffy diplomats and boring meetings.

He _had_ always instilled the importance of being selfish now and then after all.

“I do own a small villa in Crete, nothing but grass, sand and ocean for a few miles.” Magnus suggested, tangling his fingers with Alec’s and smiling as his husband leaned in to press a gentle kiss against his cheek.

“Sounds perfect.” Alec hummed against his skin and Magnus’s chest swelled with warmth as the two of them sat there and debated get-away plans for the rest of Alec’s shift.

A vacation and loving words wouldn’t be a sudden magical fix for his centuries worth of baggage and issues, Magnus knew that. But it was a step along the way.

**Author's Note:**

> I edit my own stuff as best I can but if you see any glaring typos or errors please let me know. :)


End file.
